June 20, 2014

On blessings of all types and appreciating the life in danger and afflictions...

 One of the best things that I could have possibly undergone this year 
(and perhaps through my whole lifetime) is the company of suffering 
and the abundant light and love that have sprung from it.
I thank Him, for every difficult knots I had to untie in the previous year. 
Every one of them were all challenges I did not imagine myself ever facing; 
and am I ever so lucky to have had the opportunity to undergo such storms.

June 17, 2014


People choose things, things that might give them gladness or open new doors for them or just for the sake of change, they assume that some day some how their life will be exactly what they predict in mind they wait and linger hoping one day its gonna happen the change will knock the door off and the story will began, just wait and hope. 

They observe their life from a window passing by, not good enough like a lost dream you can't figure its meaning, they depends on destiny their big hero in the story, he will throw something on their head someday that will change it all, I do agree destiny is a source of hope the unknown handler who we will have faith in. They said life is our choices its 50/50 deal. Do what you want and deal with what you don’t, it's your action, your reflection, your vision.

Some people come across and change your vision about life they even will take your breath away from time to time but the thing is we all are afraid from greatness we love those who come a cross and turn our world upside down they make a different in the world but we envy them clandestinely what they have, we don’t have? What it take to be such a person in people's life. Did they choose differently or they were blessed enough to know the right from the wrong? Right or wrong according to who or maybe they based their choices on other peoples outlook. Or signs. Yes signs from life that leads you, after all I think its more simpler a big one road and lot of new turns that you could take or walk along the same road hoping you will have the sign you want to see, people who you want to be with and the most joyful feeling of all if you looked back and saw your footprints in every way you passed by. Just make sure you don’t wait on the sideways waiting for some kind of change coming to you after all you might be near, you will get the life you wished if you are smart enough to realize what you have and what you are capable of. We all are great in some way we deserve a nice balanced life.

March 12, 2014

One of my favourite things to do is experience nature (as well as trying to do justice to their beauty with the photos I take, hence the photos). I love looking back on the photos I've taken of trees. There is just something so mysterious about them; I can easily take the whole day off just to sit in front of my window, watch the trees sway side to side, and create little stories about the trees while finishing cups of tea. 

I'm just over-blessed to be able to see these plants on a daily basis. When the time's right, they give me the simplest yet surprisingly most elegant explosions of inspiration. 

Call me a hippie-tree-hugger, and I'll rightfully accept it. They're just amazing to have around, AND they provide me much of the oxygen that I need, amongst other things, anyway. So worth my time and breaths to admire their beauty.

I honestly felt a bit of guilt, wondering how on earth this odd tree never caught my attention before. It gave me a sense of eeriness, especially on such a grey day. But it was an awesome shot of adrenaline sort of eeriness, like sudden goosebumps across my skin.

Dear Photograph.

You remind me of so much. So much that I might have forgotten coping with the cobwebs of city life, of other dreams that I'm chasing after, of broken chains that were meant to be only stronger with time, of myself. The delicate black and white of your skin holds my tiny finger like one of a baby's and leads me into a moment of my life that was frozen into mere parchement, that frozen moment was perhaps a mere second out of the scroll long years of my life, however that one frozen smile, tear, round eyes, freckle, frown tells and teaches me so much of who I am, what I might become or might have been. When your skin smiled of warm colors- I could only feel the warmth of the sun again, the sounds of the honks nearby, the scream of the roadside wender, the bark of the angry dog, the whistle of the ticket collcetor... you take me back to yet another day of reality that makes me feel so alive and present again. You have always had the strength to reduce me to my knees and pray again, pray for what only seemed like yesterday to come back. Pray for those people who've somehow let go or the ones who have held on so tight.. You have had the strength to show me the past as it was, without being biased or emotional.. as ironical as it sounds. May you capture me, many more of the sides that prevail and the ones that are hiding in somewhere, waiting for the time to step out. For you let me make memories, and that is something that only completes the mosaic of my life with everything right, wrong, perfect and imperfect. For you are a frozen me, that can never disappear and will live on forever, as simply as one can ever ask for.

February 3, 2014

Writing setup

I'm not entirely at my best, but I've been better. 
And that's progress.

January 4, 2014

You, yourself.

Stop searching for homes in other people because home is inside of you, and it always has been. You’ve been looking inside other people’s homes for so long, that you forgot you had one inside of you. It’s covered in dusts and webs, but all it needs is a little cleaning. Find home inside of yourself and rebuild it because you are the only person capable of finding a home inside of yourself.

Stop looking for people to save you. Nobody is going to save you even if you feel like they are. The only person that can ultimately, is you. You, alone are the only person with the ability to save yourself. That is so, so important to know and remind yourself about because other people are not your cure. They are only capable of doing so much, but remember, in the end, it’s all up to you, and you can do it if you stop looking for places to place your scars and wounds, and dropping it there every single time to only come back with bigger scars.

Build your own home inside of you, and do it again. Do it again and don’t ever let anyone take that ability away from you because that is powerful. It’s powerful that you build homes inside of you that are yours, and not anyone else’s.

December 31, 2013


If there was ever a time to dare, to make a difference, to embark on something worth doing,
Not for any grand cause, necessarily…but for something that tugs at your heart,
something that’s your inspiration, something that’s your dream.
You owe it to yourself, to make your days here count.
Know, though, that things worth doing seldom come easy.
There will be good days. And there will be bad days.
There will be times when you want to turn around, pack it up, and call it quits.
Those times tell you that you are pushing yourself, that you are not afraid to learn by trying.
Because with an idea, determination, and the right tools, you can do great things.
Let your instincts, your intellect, and your heart, guide you.
Believe in the incredible power of the human mind.
Of doing something that makes a difference.
Of working hard.
Of laughing and hoping.
Of lazy afternoons.
Of lasting friends.
Of all the things that will cross your path this year.
The start of something new, brings the hope of something great,

December 22, 2013

I, after years of anxiety, decided about a year ago that I needed to simplify my life.

Now, this included some obvious stuff I list below, but I also decided that—when I grew up—I wanted a simpler life. I have always driven myself to the point of physical sickness to achieve, to gain some success. Last year, I realized this drive was something created by outside pressures and not from this internal fire in my heart (or whatever). I was sick of working myself sick in the hopes of someday being able to (afford to) relax. So, I’ve been trying to live my life in the present. It’s been Type A hell at times, but I’m already seeing a better quality of life.

I wanted to share things I have been doing thus far to help cultivate a more relaxing, simpler life.

Making it a habit to clean out my closet, and kitchen refrigerator and cabinets. I am the type of person that stuffs everything into a closet and closes the door in hopes that crap doesn’t come falling out when friends are over. I have been making it a monthly habit to clean out my closet and a weekly habit to clean out my refrigerator and cabinets. GUYS: I waste so much money. I found shirts I rarely wore, 5 bottles of oregano, and expired stuff I never got to because the new stuff hid it. It’s funny how more stuff can make you seem like you have less.

Since doing this I have found that I am more likely to use what I have (because I see it and it’s easily accessible and not hidden). I have also stopped online shopping for a hobby, because apparently I don’t wear the stuff enough. I’m not bashing online shopping; I’m just a broke graduate student that should be more careful with that cash. You hear?

Picking up some quiet, domestic habits. I have found that picking up quiet, domestic hobbies have made my time at home more relaxing. I could watch television all day if I wanted to, but I’m not sure if it was making me any less anxious.

When I was at Whole Foods one day, I decided to pick up an aloe plant. I thought, “Here is a plant, I will try not to kill it.” I took it home and read everything online about it. I watered it and trimmed off all the outshoots that were killing the base mother plant. I generally liked having this plant around. I also noticed my house became cleaner when I had this plant, as if they were house guests I didn't want to disappoint.

Then I bought all the succulents in the land. Then, I was like plants are cool. Then, I started exploring my front yard, which is overgrown with wild plants and animals. I was like a kid again, and there is something inherently relaxing living life with a childlike curiosity.

Developing a morning routine. I have noticed that when I start the day in a relaxed state, the rest of my day usually follows. I got into the habit of sleeping in, which led to a frantic race to get out the door. I have been making an effort to wake up an hour earlier (it’s a hard habit), making some tea/coffee, and sitting on my porch and writing (no computer) about what I needed to do that day or any feelings I may have. 

Meditating when I get worked up. So I used to have anxiety attacks on the daily and I used to fight through them, because I had so much to do. You know what? If you fight through that type of thing, you just turn in crappy work. Also, you aren't happy. So, I started to meditate (along with changing a lot of other life things) whenever I felt anxious. I think it helped because it required me to focus on my breathing, clear my head of all the stresses, and focus on what’s important: my health. I also started to meditate before bed a lot, since that’s when my mind races most.

So, this is just a small list and I’m sure it will grow over time. I’m always ready to try something new; that’s where you come in! What are some things you do to relax? Slow things down? Remember the simple joys? I’d love to hear!

October 31, 2013

If you keep thinking you’ll constantly have bad days, then bad days will only happen because of your thoughts. If you look at the brighter side of things, then a good day may just happen if you allow it to. You can’t constantly dwell onto negativity and expect a good day because that’s not going to happen. If you constantly dwell, the only damage you’re doing is to yourself and the saddest part of all is you’re not willing to change when you can. If you choose to change, you can. 

September 12, 2013

Inspire someone. 
Motivate yourself. 
Make morning tea or late night coffee to stay up for an important project. 
Do an act of kindness for a stranger. 
Smile at someone. 
Read a few chapters of a book you’re reading. 
Do your chores early and relax. 
Take a minute to smell flowers, or observe nature. 
Deliver a gift to someone you love. 
Mail a handwritten letter or give it to someone face to face. 
Put a little faith in someone. 
Go hiking. 
Do yoga. 
Work out for an hour. 
Lay in bed for ten extra minutes. 
Call someone just to hear the sound of their voice and try to remember it. 
Go people-watching in a cafe or sitting outside somewhere. 
Help someone carry their groceries from across the street. 
Lay in bed and listen to music for an hour, and allow your mind to ponder. 
Take power naps. 
Buy a dozen of rose for your mother or your favourite female person in the world. 
Surprise someone in a heart-felting way. 
Pay for someone’s lunch or dinner. 
Drop a random uplifting note for a stranger. 
Buy ice cream for a person who looks sad. 
Watch a horror film and scare yourself shitless. 
Tell someone you miss them or love them when you mean it and feel it. 
Visit someone and show up at their door step, just drop off food for them, and tell them you appreciate them, then go back home. 
Laugh at stupid things. 
Dance your heart out even if you look silly. 
Write letters. 
Draw what you see in your head. 
Be creative. 
Make little things for others.
Don’t wait for the little things. Work for them, and appreciate it. 
Let things fall into place. 
Keep going at your own pace. 
Don’t always rush. 
Don’t be impatient. 
Don’t mind what others think about you. 
Be yourself. Be content, or better yet, be happy. 
Grow. Learn. Forgive. Love yourself. 
Do things that make you feel better, and if it benefit others, then do it. 
Be considerate. Don’t be insensitive. 
Have emotions. Don’t be numb. 
Be at peace with yourself, someday. 
Be wonderful in all that you can be. 
Be tired. Be sad. It’s okay. 
Work hard, and it’ll be rewarded. 
Be beautiful and stay beautiful, but keep growing. 
There’s always room for growth and for better or worse, it’s up to you. 
You define your own character. Nobody else. Just you. Keep growing. You’ll be okay. 
Have a little faith, and you’ll be okay.

September 11, 2013

Let me tell you this.

Don’t let words eat you up. When someone tells you that you aren’t lovable because you don’t act according to their standards or expectations, don’t listen to them or take any shit from them. You are so much more than the words they say, and you are so much stronger than that. Just because you’re not the standards of what beauty is portrayed in people’s eyes, just know that everyone’s definition of beauty varies from each individual on the spectrum of the earth. Just because someone tells you that they don’t need you, doesn’t mean you’re not needed. You are. You’re placed on this earth for a reason, perhaps to change people and to make changes—to make a difference in people life. It’s comforting to know that you can touch people’s life and make the slightest change because without you in it, then it alters everything else they do after you.

Do you noticed this? After you encounter someone even if it’s for a day or an hour, they alter whatever you do accordingly afterward. It’s the slightest change whether it’s because you did something embarrassing in front of them, then smiled or even blushed. After this, you’ll remember them slightly because of this awkward moment, and afterwards you’ll act differently for a while. Even for a day, you matter to someone or you made someone’s day. This is something to live for, and something to grow to love.

You are lovable, you are important. Don’t you ever forget that because what others say, don’t matter as long as you’re just doing you. If you’re doing you and not living under anyone’s shadow, then you’re doing fine regardless of mistakes. You’re doing fine, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re okay, and this is just a daily reminder that you’re loved even if someone says otherwise.

August 21, 2013

Dear Myself,
You notice the unusual cloudiness of the day, but u're still determined to pursue your journey across the street to buy some food. On your walk back to the car, the rain starts to pour; your hair gets wet. You feel irritated and your temper starts to get the better of you. You knew it was going to rain, why didn't you just stay home?

Out of nowhere, a stranger starts to approach you. You immediately notice how filthy he looks: his clothes are dirty and ragged, his hair is long and untidy, and his smell was enough to make you scurry off while giving him hurtful looks and murmurs, all of which pertains to his appearance and condition.

He was homeless; a human being neglected since birth, nurtured in the streets, and only survives on the left over food that we throw away. He doesn't sleep on beds like we do; he spends his nights sleeping on cement roads with newspapers as his blanket. When it rains, his only source of warmth and shelter are his ragged clothes that we judge. His unsanitary condition is caused by the fact he doesn't shower as much as we do because he only has enough water to quench his thirst to get through hot, humid days.

Be thankful for your blessings, and learn to share, knowing you have more than what you need. Do some good and share a piece of bread to someone who's hungry, water for those who are thirsty and even a smile to those you are upset and gloomy, because some people in this world are just not as fortunate as you are.

Dear Mumma,
I'm sorry: for all the things I've done that hurt you, all the words I've said that were meant to disrespect you and all the troubles I might have caused you. I love you so much, and I want you to know that I am very thankful that I have someone like you in my life. It occurred to me over night, right before the moment I unconsciously fell to sleep, how unloved I always make you feel. How everyday, no matter how much you try to be a part of my life, I always end up pushing you away, as if you were a stranger who had no right to be in my life. I'm sorry for that. You were busying with work, since you’ve to handle up all things alone, well I should understand you but that I guess I just got used to not having you around; to only have myself, my courage and no one else to get through the day.

But I want you to know that I'm thankful for everything. I'm thankful for the happiness you give, the care, the protection, the concern and the love; that no matter how badly and coldly I treat you often, you would always make me feel so loved as if I had done nothing wrong. You can always look past my constant mistakes no matter how much it hurts you.

I know I never make it seem like I do, but I love you very much mum and I appreciate everything you do and sacrifice for me.

Dear Happiness and thought,

Lately all I've been feeling about is you, because at the moment I'm trying to work myself out and to figure out how to be in all this. I made a book of happy things and I'm thinking of making one of sad things, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea at the moment.

You see the feeling has returned, and it's just there, hovering in my thoughts, threatening me but not quite taking over like it used to. I don't think that it will, but I'm wary all the same. It's been keeping me on my toes.

If I make a book of meaningful things instead, maybe that will be different, but I'm just not sure. I think I will :)

August 5, 2013

July 26, 2013

Everyone & myself.

It's you, plain and you have your simple life. The next time you think that your life sucks, or you're about to say that to someone you know, think of that huge hole in the ground where all the other people are wallowing in their own depressing filth, and then look up at the sky and see the birds and the clouds and the endless blue azure shimmering through the skyline and ask yourself. Where would you rather be? You are here. And you still here, alive. You should be glad for that. You should thank for that. You maybe got nothing to do with the past, but please do experienced that for your future. You have no reason to blame the fate. You have nothing to deal with that. Believed that God have plan for us. Yes, a good plan. And who are we to blame the regulations that have set for us from the start we born until the end we died.

July 21, 2013

My personal healthcare companion

I want everyone to meet you and fall in love you. You’re my favourite person of all time.

July 7, 2013

You know you are tired when you go to work to get rest.

These are self imposed pressures and pressures from society that keeps
me running in circles. I constantly promise myself that I will cleanse my soul,
eat better, and get away from my phone, but I cannot away from the blinking light
notifying me of a new message.

April 10, 2013

Another morning.

Time to pay for your whole night of debauchery,and you hungover drones.

April 1, 2013

Don’t let someone or anyone define you or your worth.

You are good enough. You may not feel good enough for someone, but you are for someone else. Either way, a person should not make you feel worthless or not good enough, for you are extraordinary and more than just enough.

March 31, 2013

Be happy with what you do, and if you aren't happy, then change your routine or change something in order to experience something else. If you choose not to change it, then face the consequences that come with it.

March 29, 2013


I find that the most beautiful people are the most vulnerable with scars, stories that are left unseen, but waiting for someone to see it. I find that the most beautiful people are the ones that find themselves ugly, but their inside are so, so pure. They’re just wrecked, but I find most people beautiful in all sort of ways whether it is in the way they look, the way they are, or who they present themselves to be. I find that people are beautiful in sense of the way they talk, the way they walk, and the way they think.Most people are beautiful by their insecurities, their sadness, and their smile. It’s bittersweet, but it’s beautiful to me even though others may not see it the way I do. It’s dangerous to see beauty in such aspect, but it works and I will continue to be curious. I find the ones that want to fall in love or not, all sort of beautiful too. Even the bitter ones for somehow, something trigger them to become the person they are now. Someday, that bitterness will melt away and perhaps, they will learn that someday, not everything is as cruel as it seems. Not everything is as ugly as it seems. Not everyone is cold. Not everyone is distrusting. Not everyone is dark, cynical, or cruel. Not everyone is going to hurt you, for someone out there will be kind to you. Someone out there will love you and that’s the beauty of people. The fact that their heart is giving and patient enough for these type of people. It all balance out, right?And that’s why. That’s why people are beautiful whether they are cynical or pure, perhaps in between. You will see beauty in them one day if you let your mind expand to the horizon that looks at people in different perspective. In ways you never imagined to see them and perhaps, you will see the beauty I see. 

March 2, 2013

Happy Birthday Kristy

I’m sorry my post wasn't exactly at midnight like I planned, but I really hope you have a wonderful one because you deserve it. You know, it’s pretty amazing how long we’ve known each other now. It been almost 5 years since we've known each other You’re one of the people in my life where I can talk to comfortably and laugh about anything then get into deep and personal topics. It’s weird how our bond works because we can throw like absolutely any insults at each other and end up laughing about it instead of being all butt-hurt.

I cherish our bond a lot more than others only because you actually take the time out of your day and listen to what I have to say. I really do appreciate all the time you listened to me talk from everything to nothing on those random nights I talk to you. I like how upfront you can be about a lot of the things I say because you know I’m making excuses not to do them or how you tell me I’m getting annoying. I appreciate that you tell me things honestly rather than sugarcoating it. You know how you feel like being too honest can be a bad thing sometimes? I think it’s good that you’re honest. I really do because not a lot of people are honest with what they say nowadays and a lot of people aren’t honest with themselves like you are. Also, I appreciate all the things you tell me that you don’t tell anyone else too because I know how hard trust is to come by. So thank you for telling me things you don’t tell anyone else. It makes me actually feel special that I get to know things about how you think or what you think that nobody else knows.

Regardless, I just hope you know how much I appreciate your existence in this world. I’m really glad to have met someone like you and realized how much a difference you have made in my life regardless of how mean you can be to me! I know you’re joking because I can be a dick to you too, so we’re even. lol, but hey. Thank you, really. I truly mean what I say when I say I appreciate your existence. You’ve helped me get through a lot of things even if you don’t think you have, you really have. I’ve told you so many things that I don’t tell anyone else because I actually trust you and I believe you wouldn’t tell anyone which I know you won’t.

That’s why I’m telling you thank you for all the things you've done for me and this may not mean much or it may, but I hope you know that you’re someone I’ll always remember regardless of how many days we don’t talk because I know you’re always going to be there. I know you’re going to be there to listen to me rant about stupid shit or personal shit at five in the morning even if you’re exhausted as hell. I know you are because you’re just that type of person to be there for others unconditionally. Perhaps, not all the time since you’re human, but it’s enough for me. It really is and I don’t know how to thank you enough for it, but I am grateful for all the times you’ve been there for me through thick and thin. I’m quite amazed at the fact that you still stood by my side up to now because most of the people I’ve met are all gone within a year gap, sadly, but you and a several others stayed and you have no idea how much that means to me.

So I hope you know that you mean a lot to me and that I really appreciate that you are born today. You’re an older sister/bestgf to me and I’m glad you are. I really am. I’m blessed to have someone like you in my life and there isn’t any other way I would have it. You’re a wonderful girl and although you can be an asshole to me, I know you don’t mean it.  So just believe me this once and let it slide because it’s your birthday and you’re suppose to do all the fun things, okay? This post is probably not good enough or at least to me, I don’t feel like it is, but it is the thought that counts! I hope I get to hang out with you on Friday after you're back from your CNY hols so I can treat you out, okay? Ok. So thanks, For everything and more to come.Happy 23rd birthday, Kristen! You better have an amazing one or I’ll sock you in the face and make you ugly and that will be all out of love.


P.S. Sorry I rambled and there is probably a lot of typos/ grammar error.  

January 30, 2013


I notice people. I notice people all the time and I hope you know that I notice you. I notice a lot of people. I may not say anything and I may never have the courage to say hello, but I do acknowledge people. I see them everywhere and I hardly forget faces. People matter to me no matter how little I know of them or know them. They matter and I do remember people.

January 26, 2013


Too many people are trying to find love nowadays or finding someone to fill up their loneliness and emptiness, but not many people know how to cherish who they have and what they have. It’s quite unfortunate because there are many things aside love or finding someone to keep you on your feet. There are many, many things in life to search for, but people are too busy dwelling on such emotions when the truth is, they just need to open their eyes and see what life have in store for them. Instead, they miss out on it all because they couldn’t see what’s in store for them. Far too many people don’t realize how beautiful the sky is or how the stars shine at night. They have to know that loneliness is a part of life and they just have to endure it for the time being until the time is right and someone comes along unexpectedly. It works out eventually. Too many people are lonely and looking for love, when they still have many other things to look for.

January 10, 2013

I’ve never felt more than blessed.


Strangely enough, cronaim thu #LY

 I’m grateful for everything and everyone in my life.

January 2, 2013


By the end of the night, I wish for nothing more than your well being and safety.

December 21, 2012

What if people said what they meant?

Can you imagine, if people said what they meant? Instead, we hide behind a blanket of self security. Afraid of what we feel. I think we're scared of rejection. Of our ideas. Of our feelings. To bear your soul to someone, to have it crushed. No-one wants to have to deal with that. It'd be nice but. Just once. Honesty, without judgement. I have so many things I want to say..But I’m not sure what happened. To people, and to me. I'm not sure if anyone really knows what they want. And I think, that everyone has their price. A price for their soul. And I think people are afraid. Way more than they'd like to admit. But that's okay. Because if everyone is scared, you're not alone. 

In other news, I had such a nice night last night. It wasn't how I expected it to be. But nice never the less. Maybe the best things are unexpected.

September 22, 2012

10 Things (more) things.

1. I have been meaning to write a book of letters for my friends and family to read after I die. (Not that I plan on going anytime soon, it's just that you never know what might happen, and I can't leave them with nothing.)
2. I love writing but I don't always think that what I write is good enough. I am starting to learn to love the things I write now. Maybe because I'm learning to write them for me.
3. The other day I realized that sometimes I'm so shy I even breathe quietly
4. I'm scared. I mean, I'm scared of what could be under my bed, or hiding in the shower, I'm scared of next year because it means making big decisions that I'm not ready enough to make, I'm scared of dying because I don't know what comes next, I'm scared of trying because I could fail, I'm scared of changing because it's different and difficult.
5. I always say goodbye when someone leaves - in case something happens.
6. I take everything to heart - everything. So watch what you say because when you say it you may think nothing of it, and you might not notice , but my heart is sinking and my brain will have stored it away to keep reminding me over and over and over again, and my cup will be half empty, so to me you will have meant whatever you said and when I'm upset later, or later that afternoon, or before I go to sleep I will remember and I will think and think and think about it until I don't want to anymore because in the end it will all be too much.
7. I doubt everything. I always wonder what people mean when they say certain things and I have to ask otherwise it eats away at me. I always need encouragement to do things and to be reassured that whatever I'm doing is ok, that it won't hurt anyone, that 'no you're not a horrible person'. I will never stop doubting. 
8. I collect lyrics like a gardener collects flowers. Scrawled in notebooks, and written underneath my desk, I hoard them, saving them up for - I don't even know yet myself. They're mostly sad ones, I like sad things you see. 
9. I can't look you in the eye for more than a few seconds without looking away. I just can't. It's nothing against you, just please don't stare. 
10. Some days I don't know where I fit in. I feel lost, and find myself wandering, trying to find my place. I don't know if you can have a best friend that you can't tell everything to.

10 Quotes iLike
1. "Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living." - Jonathan Safran Foer 
2. "I desire the things, that will destroy me in the end." - Sylvia Plath
3. "I can't explain myself, I'm afraid sir," said Alice, "Because I'm not myself, you see." - Lewis Carroll
4. "I want to believe in it all again — in art, fate, and love. And I want to believe that I’ve made the right choice and that I’m on the right path and there’s still time to fix the mistakes I’ve made. And I guess I want hope." - One Tree Hill 
5. "You deserve good things, and I want to be one of them." - Impulse, Ellen Hopkins
6. "And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but doesn't really." - Synecdoche, New York
7. “These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper, but minds alive on the shelves. From each of them goes out its own voice… and just as the touch of a button on our set will fill the room with music, so by taking down one of these volumes and opening it, one can call into range the voice of a man far distant in time and space, and hear him speaking to us, mind to mind, heart to heart.” - Gilbert Highet
8. "I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see. Like, if you followed them around invisibly for a day and you saw them crying in their bed at night or singing to themselves as they make a sandwich or just walking along the street. Even if they were really weird and had no friends at school. I think after seeing them at their most vulnerable you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them." - Tumblr
9. “And all the books you’ve read have been read by other people. And all the songs you’ve loved have been heard by other people. And that girl that’s pretty to you is pretty to other people. And you know that if you looked at these facts when you were happy, you would feel great because you are describing unity.” - The Perks of Being a Wallflower 
10. “These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections - sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent - that happened after I was gone. And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it. The events that my death wrought were merely the bones of a body that would become whole at some unpredictable time in the future. The price of what I came to see as this miraculous body had been my life.” - Alice Sebold 

July 8, 2012

Random things, truths about myself.

My life is full of 'What if(s)' I often regret about the things that I've done or what I don't do. Its like then I asked myself, "What if,I've done that? "What if I didn't did that?" It happens everytime. Then I'll try to not think about it,but a few minutes later I think about it again.

I am terrified of lizards : I'll probably scream my lungs out if I see one. It just disgust me,I don't know why though. One time,there was this show about some guy that actually ate them,whenever he comes across those little reptiles! Disgusting much?

I am amazing at annotation and alliteration : I think i'm finally beginning to understand how i learn. and it's a fucking obscure way too. i learn aurally. when i hear things. generally words are best, like experiences or explanations. i have a good visual memory when it comes to photos or colors. i can tell you what color t-shirt i'm wearing or where things are positioned in hundreds of photos. i can tell you how to write a damn good list. but when everything is come to maths , like to explain why a sequence of numbers is such and you've lost me. get me to remember a whole bunch of statistics or ask me the intention of the author and you'd stump me. i'm not sure why, but it just doesn't work in my brain. 

May 18, 2012


I pray to god this will not last, as we grow we leave our judgemental selves in the past, but we are only human, we are quick to judge too fast. With open hearts and open eyes, how is this reality if we can’t open up our selfless minds? It’s these things that keep me from sleeping at nights, it’s these things that convince me we are dreaming, It’s these things that will be our downfall in time. If I drown long enough in these thoughts of mine, I still may never know if I’m even alive. We cannot fall to being stagnant through our selfishness, if we wish to make it in this life, we must embrace the means of love and gratefulness. I shall not give up on positivity, because of what this world has already given me. For the love of the one who gives me the strength to push on tonight, for the grace of the one who gave me the wings to assist my flight. I shall not bite the hand that feeds me, I shall just be forever thankful for the heart that beats beneath me. I will save my passion for something greater than what someone could give to me. I shall create a path for you to follow, a path of positivity. Know that you never have to walk alone, but just don’t follow me. Know that I am by your side, for now, for all eternity. 

April 30, 2012

So, alive.

Get inspired by everything in your life. 
Get inspired by the rain, by the sun, by the air, by the sea. 
By sadness, by happiness, by loneliness.
Every feeling is there for you to get inspired, to create, to be creative. 
Live in the moment.
Feel the sun on your skin, feel the air going through your hair. 
Run scream sing.
Color your room with your favorite color, color your life. 
Laugh laugh laugh!! until your stomach hurts.
Smile for no reason. Put a smile on someone face.
Help your parents, friends, and strangers. 
Dance! let your body go wild, feel free to be free. breaking away. 
Watch the blue sky, wish upon the shooting stars. 
LOVE. It’s the best gift for your heart. 
Love yourself, love everybody around you. get carried away… love the little thing in life. 
Love every mistake every memory every smile every feeling every tear every fail every success. 
Don’t give up, try … your needs worth fighting for. 
Breathe. Just breathe and hold on. 
Be positive.
Taste the sweetness in your mouth. 
Smell the salt of the sea, watch the waves. 
Touch some one life.
Be different, be unique, and make a change. 
Write a song!! Write a sweet thing for someone. 
Play a song! Dream. Believe, and care!! 
Learn a new thing every day. 
Fly a kite!! feel young… 
Ride a bicycle at the evening. 
See the pretty side of the world J
Just living the life completely.

April 26, 2012

It's always there.

She watches movies that melt away the glue to expose the cracks that were always there. Even when she was with him and then him, it was there, she felt it mostly at first, then suppressed it, hid it away. She forgot for a while, as she realized that it wasn't what she wanted. But it came back. It always comes back. She can try to forget but she won't. She tried to write about it but that didn't make it go away either, because it's always there. And it won't go away just yet because she has to see it to believe that it can. And that's a paradox in itself, because to see it, she has to believe it. And she doesn't think that she can do that. Maybe it will never happen. Maybe she will always have this crushing feeling, that hits her all of a sudden and makes her remember.

February 19, 2012

"Nothing but the whole world.."

Let’s sit around with the people we love. Laugh and smile and open up that fragile broken shell that we put our dreams into. Pull out the ideas and hopes and share them with everyone. Let us let go of the fears and find that courage once more.

January 20, 2012

There's so many different ways to be connected to people. There are the people you feel this unspoken connection to, even though there's not even a word for it. There's the people you've known forever, who know you in this way that other people can not, Because they've seen you change, and they've let you change.

January 4, 2012

Feelings Friends Random Facts.

Have you ever wonder why when you're friends with the opposite sex,best friends(like the two of you always hang out together),people will assume that the two of you are bf/gf? I mean seriously,I’ve heard this kind of story a million times in my entire life. It happens everywhere,in books,TV shows,movies. It also happens to some celebrities. Its like people will start asking things like, "Hey,are you guys 'together'?" or "Come on,you guys always hang out together,surely there must be some kind of 'feeling" Then we go on like "No,we're just friends!" (That line is most common line that I've heard) I really don't think that everyone who are best friends with the opposite sex have,dated each other before. I mean its kinda cool having a best friend like that. Sure we won't have everything in common and obviously cant do some things together,but I mean its fine as long as the friendship is great and there's trust.(Trust is important in friendships) But I can say that there are people who 'accidentally' fall for their best friend. Here are the three main ones that I've seen/heard before;

Scenario 1:
Your best friend falls for you,but U don't feel the same way. Then when you found out,everything may or may be (hopefully not) awkward between the two of you. And you try telling him/her that you don't feel the same way trying not to hurt his feelings. 

Scenario 2: 
Its the same as 1 but its U who falls for your best friend. And all sort of emotions occur. Then everything may or may not be (hopefully not too) awkward between the two of you.

Scenario 3: 
Both of you fall for each other,but have no idea what to because if you decide to be together,and if things go wrong and if you guys break up,the friendship that you had at the beginning,before getting together,it may not come back. Hence,you lose a friend.

This things happen all the time,and you don't know what will happen next. Maybe something bad or good. I just think that we need to think things thoroughly before making a decision. And to have self-control for our emotions.

Ps: apologize if this post doesn't really make sense. I had post writer's block,and this was the only thing that came up to my mind.