I no longer know how to open up the barrier of my heart to anyone and I don’t no longer know how to soften up when I want to. 

I am no longer waiting for a person to come or a thing to make me happy.

I am no longer waiting for anything or anyone and that’s because, 

I’ll be waiting my whole life for a chance I’ll never be able to take. 

I no longer wait for a home to open to me and make it become my safe haven. 

I no longer wait for a silver lining and I no longer wait for anyone or anything for life have disappointed me pointless times. 

It’s tiring. It’s tiring being force to open up or to try to when no matter what I do, I cannot. 

I cannot within the life of me. I am no coward for not being able to. 

I am no robot, but no matter how much I try, it’s useless. 

It’s something that have to come naturally and I cannot force it. 

I am no longer waiting for something or someone to come to stay with me. 

I am no longer waiting for I learned to accept the fact that my heart stays closed and if nobody is patient enough with it, then I shall learn to be patient for myself.

And no matter what, I am no longer the same person I was a moment ago for I am constantly changing. I am no longer waiting for anything and anyone. I am tired. 

I am constantly exhausted and I don’t know what to do, but I will take a step forward. 

I will feel constantly exhausted, until I learn what the problem is. I am constantly torn and constantly content. It’s moments that I am attached to, and I need to learn to let them go. 

I am torn. I am torn and I feel nothing and everything in between. 

I am no longer waiting. I am just here.